Reaching Out's Expressions

Listed below are poems/photos/paintings created by Reaching Out members (Outties). I think anybody with these illnesses will be able to relate to their content. If you wish to contact the author/artist, please state their name in the email and please do not use their creation in any way without their explicit permission. These are people who despite being terribly ill, still find the courage to create and therefore, deserve any accolades they may receive for their work.

 
November 14, 2006

The vastness of a thought...utterly endless
I realized this today...some thoughts must end,
Help carry on positive power and its power,
Love, hope, happiness... trust in who you are.
Construct, choose to pause, listen
feel good, thinking good, singing,

allowing an unfolding fluid reaction of wonder.


Linda M. Nagy
11.14.2006 
©Linda M. Nagy
 
Goddess
©Karmen Naccarato
 
© Linda Margaret Nagy
 
The Conflict I Face
I look at my fingers and am shocked.
My fingernails should be broken and pocked,
Because I am hanging on by a thread.
My thoughts are black and filled with dread.
The rope I am hanging from today
Is wearing thin and beginning to fray
The dark, ugly spiral is sucking me down.
Inside I am screaming though you won’t hear a
sound.
A minute is an hour; an hour a year.
Like I used to, the pain and fatigue continuously
persevere.
Aching, burning, stabbing – relentless
Making my thoughts, my life…a mess.
The outlook is bleak, I am uncertain about life
My ideas and abilities are in strife
Will I ever accept IT; ever be at peace?
Will the torment, the horror ever cease?

© 2006 Carrie A. Nelson
 
 
When you look at me how could you truly know?
Take a step forward, focus.
I know I see you and you frighten me.
You are not my fear of darkness, violence or disaster.
You are my human fear of vanishing.
Marks we make on this world are important.
They extend into our entire universe and beyond, with an
energy that returns upon the extender.
Each day has become so soulful; I see
more individuality now.
It has ignited my oneness, my smallness, my largeness and
my DNA connection with my Creator.
This is a gift to all and by grace I am learning it.
This Journey is not without its pitfalls,
But is abundant in opportunities for learning.
All are gifts once we know of their meaning.
Struggles bring blessings or they wouldn’t exist.
I wouldn’t exist.
What has brought me to this point of learning is that
Things can change in an instant; Poof!
They’re gone; You’re gone; Poof!
Your life has changed without your permission.
Oh! Those slippery slopes.
My body no longer serves me well,
Oh well, they say it is best to just except it. Either way
it is still there.

Forget about it. It doesn’t matter.
There are still two more of me left.


My mind has become continual and my spirit just trickles along, but that’s ok.
Two of me is better then none.


© 2006 Linda Margaret Nagy, Chronic Pain Sufferer 6th year.
 
I Can’t Imagine
I can’t imagine the life they are living
It must be like having one foot in hell
To hear the war sirens blaring in the night
To beg and plead for morning light
In the morning; the death is still near
But it would be better without the darkness
Hoping that when light breaks you are still in one piece
That the hearts of your family and friends still beat
The utter realization that life is not valued
To not know what heartache the next day will bring
To fear death all around you
Is too much for my mind to construe

© 2006 Carrie A. Nelson.
 
For In this Moment
In one moment I can see
In one moment I can feel and hear
Tasting the moment is difficult at times
But it is never without flavor
In stillness is grace and forgiveness
Energy is everywhere to help heal
It lifts you up to a new place
Where vision is not from the eyes
Tomorrow is not here yet
Yesterday is gone forever
This moment is mine to breathe in
And to breathe out
This moment is the only one that truly counts
© 2006 Linda M. Nagy
 
A Classic Beauty
©2006 Sparrow Ivy
 
Me, Myself & I

©Karmen Naccarato
 
Knowing I am loved. I am that "I AM"
The birds loudly speak thankfully
And drowns out the racing of my heart
ringing in my ears and out of myself
No place that feels silent, to call home,
Home the place that contains comfort
Of which my body no longer knows.

Hard to be me... I need to be me
Too many dips in the road which are now a given
Always trying to figure a better way
Never knowing what the next moment will feel,
So in this moment I can stay.

It is good I am not crying today, for it is there
I find the scary side of self.
It is here that I use most of my strength.
Each day holds a miracle, thank God, he helps me see 
I am grateful of many things.
Too numerous to mention!

My physical self relentlessly
hammers at my spirit and emotion's.
Constant barrages of symptoms plague me,
Pulling, pocking and stabbing   me.

For reasons, I have now come to this place.
For reasons no longer apply.
Reasons I have come to this place may
never ever be known.
It matters not or shouldn't.

I just really miss me!
I will get over it...in time I know.
When it is my time I will
no longer wear this armor of pain,
my emotions will cease.
My spirit will run free.

When this day happens I am ready,
Till that day happens I am here.
Trying to forget what I feel,
Forget the pain and find the best of each day

Perhaps my lesson is "Acceptance"
Linda Margaret Nagy
Aka Peach



©2006 Linda Margaret Nagy, Chronic Pain Sufferer
 
Chronic pain Support Groups To Me

In my search I found You.......

In my frightened state.......I found You!

Mysterious is the path that we can be placed on,

and it's mystery keeps telling me deeply inside to move forward.

I have a fight every day, it is the limitations that are being imposed on my body,

.............................without my consent.

I am not perfect now nor was I once before that tragic day November 30th 1999.

Began as any other day and was working well until that dreadful moment I was hurt,

How bad I didn't know I just know that it hurt in a devastating kind of way.

I called for help and it was there for me at the time.

It has continued now forever since that day. This has been isolating, frustrating, validating,

Life altering and yet it has had it's rewards.

Rewards that are blessed sent, life changing, eye opening, and tolerance.

Rewards that came at a time when I was is such great need of being heard.

To count once again, to interconnect with the outside world.

Transportation the internet....searching for a friend.

In this new journey I found things I never thought that I would.

Friendships, support, love, and caring people like me wanting to Reach Out in a human

way.

Reach out like I was trying to do, someone that really knew what I was feeling.

Someone that understood the effects on a family and your relationships with others and

the limitations it presents us.

Thank you to my Supportive friends, you have saved my life more than once.

Support Groups opens the hope in you. So please Reach Out.

©2006 Linda Margaret Nagy, Chronic Pain Sufferer

 
Summer Delights
©2006 Sparrow Ivy
 
Myra, one of our Outties, has a 14 year old niece who wrote the following four poems after she lost her father.
The Moment

This is the moment that's passing you by
the one chance you're going to miss
The timing will never be right again
it'll never be better than this
You said you've been waiting for just the right chances
for something you've wanted to do
Well, this is the moment -- it's passing you by
and no one can change that but you
Fate only takes us so far in our lives
the rest is for us to decide
And if you just let this moment go by
you can't even say that you tried

ÓJennifer Idailia Woodall

 
I'd Like to Be

I'd like to hear you call my name
Whenever your're alone
I'd like to know that you'd be there
If I was on my own
I'd like to feel your hand in mine
When pain is all around
I'd like to have the strength you hold

To help me off the ground
I'd like to have your fingertips
To wipe my tears away
I'd like to be the one you call
To brighten up your day
I'd like to know that you love me
As much as I love you
I'd like to have you be a part
Of everything I do
I'd like to be considered as
Your love until the end
But I just hope that I can be
Considered as your friend


ÓJennifer Idailia Woodall

 
I Made a Mistake

The night is cold, the midnight breeze
Blows with in and out the trees
I hear a far off roaring sound
As I lay here on the ground
Pain has overcome my mind
Shelter here, I cannot find
I cannot move my body is stiff
My legs are heavy, they will not lift
Why didn't I think as I ran away?
How mother was right when she begged me to stay
And now that I realize, I'm going to die
I cry for my mom, but she's nowhere in sight
It is my own fault, I knew she was right
But I ran away from the safety of home
And now I am dying, I am dying alone

ÓJennifer Idailia Woodall

 
Friends
F-fun to be with
R- rambunctiously funny
I- incomplete without
E-endurance to be with (truthful)
N-no one like them
D-driven to help
S-silly but to the point

ÓJennifer Idailia Woodall
 

Peaceful Place - Ó Linda Margaret Nagy (artist's maiden name)

 
Just One of Those Days

Feeling so very sad today.
The reason why is EVERYTHING, you know?
Just one of those days.

I really should be happy for more reasons.
More reasons than I can count,
but it’s one of those days.

Would like to go lie down, but I won’t.
Perhaps, I am too stubborn in many ways.
But, I need to get my feelings out and
it’s one of those days.

People who know what I am talking about,
don’t need me to explain.
They are living just like me.
I try not to let my body gain hold,
but today is one of those days.

I can’t stand being in this vessel much longer,
but I will; what else can I do?
Jesus loves me, that I know.
It’s just one of those days.

I don’t understand much more than another,
I just want you for a sister or a brother.
Nothing more; nothing less.
Reach out for my soul.
It is screaming, “Lord help me. Please take me
home.”
It’s just one of those days.


©2005 Linda Margaret Nagy, Chronic Pain Sufferer
 
Broken & Still Beautiful
Ó 2005
Linda Margaret Nagy
Broken Body
My health took my life, crumpled it up and stepped on
it.
Now all day, all evening at home I sit.
It took my energy, my career and my feelings of
worth.
I feel like my place, my being is no longer on this
earth.
I feel like I am barely alive; maybe I’m dead.
Maybe I should be; for what am I giving to the man I
wed?

I am giving him more work, more stress, no life.
If he had known, would he have wanted me as his
wife?
Do I let him go to experience life like he should?
Even if I should, would there be anyway I could?
I don’t want to let him go, don’t want to be alone.
Even though my body is broken, my heart still beats
on.

My heart is still full of love for this man who cares
for me.
I just wish I could be the wife I always wanted to be.
I wish I could pull my share of the work and the care,
that it takes to make a living in this life that now
seems so unfair.
I wish I could earn a paycheck, I wish I felt worthy
of being.
I wish when I looked in the mirror it didn't’t have to be
me I am seeing.


© Carrie A. Nelson 2004
 
Clifford In The Leaves
Ó 2005
Linda Margaret Nagy
 
  Finding Grace

Standing as on the edge of  
A steep cliff looking down  
fear and anxiety filling me  
and sadness is my crown  

I know that You hold me  
in the shelter of Your wings  
That You have redeemed me  
from my selfish deeds  

So why Lord am I so afraid  
that if I stumble and fall  
that You may turn away  
and wont hear my hearts call  

You have made a way  
for me to rest secure  
always reaching out to me  
Your love for me is sure  

My fear just seems so strong  
of being beyond Your rescue  
Your grace will surely catch me  
my fear just can't be true  

I long to rest securely  
beyond my fear and Pain  
Help with my fear Lord  
fill me with peace again  

Lord I know You hold me  
and will never let me go  
forgive my fearful heart  
as I learn to trust and know  

You won't ever leave me  
Your hand is strong to save  
I can safely trust in You  
Your grace had made a way  

by Lisa Sabin

 
Auttum Leaves
Ó
2005 Linda Margaret Nagy
 
All I have
I am scared
I am lonely
I am frightened and in pain,
But when you look
You will see I am normal just the same.

When I hurt you will not see me,
When I cry, it will be alone.
When my breath is coming shallow
Ill just wait it out at home.

If I'm silent
If I'm quiet
If I'm awkward or just weird,
Its because I'm trying so hard but my brain just wont be heard.

I'm still fighting
I'm still trying
Still believing just so hard
And when all else seems to fail me
Ill still be breathing,
Quietly breathing cause its all i have.

©  Rossy  18/1/2005

 
Statistically Speaking

The statistics are false, clearly in this case
All the studies that have been done should now be considered a waste.
My Uncle Lloyd was an only child, which means a loner he should have been
How very wrong they were when this idea began
He, without a doubt loved people around him and knew how to be a friend
It didn't matter their status or what they'd done before, his self he would extend
The statistics should be redone
and lowered by one
The death and dying he saw in Nam should have made him hard to the core
Although he had his struggles with the sickness that he saw
He learned  how to remain caring and not to withdraw
He had his share of hard times with the memories etched in to his soul
But he made sure that as a father, a husband, an uncle he was perfect in his role.
The statistics are not right
And he proved it all his life
As a man who was in such pain for so long, he should have been bitter and mean
When you looked at him a frown is what should have been seen
But not my Uncle Lloyd, that wasn't his style
When you walked in his door you were always greeted with a smile.

Carrie Nelson ©2005
 
The World Now Has a Void
When you called Uncle Lloyd's house you'd never know who would answer the phone
It might be Wolf Man Jack or Donald Duck, but probably not the voice of his own!
Changing his voice was one of  Lloyd's fortes to make people laugh and smile
But he had many other ways because his personality was very versatile
You might walk in to find him Yodeling or singing a song
He had the ability to entertain you all day long.
Out of nowhere he knew how to lighten your mood, just by being him
Pulling pranks, telling jokes, or making funny faces he would do on a whim
His door was always open to family and friends a like
You could go visit him and feel welcome when ever the need would strike
His friends they were many and became part of his life forever
The bonds that he made were always too strong to sever
Of his own flesh and blood, he had three children to claim as his own
But to all the friends of his children, a second father is how he was known
He was there for all of them whenever they were in need
His love and his friendship he was more than willing to concede
It was apparent that the amount of love he had,  for he let it flow
He caring heart went not only to humans but to animals also
His kitties where like his buddies and you would always find them near
Waiting for some cuddling or a scratch behind the ear.
The world lost someone special, when they lost Lloyd
Many lives will change and they will feel the void
Of not having him around, of him not being hear
Of not have his wonderful soul and loving ways to share
Carrie Nelson ©2005
 
Want to Scream
I want to cry
For there is nothing
To take the pain
From deep inside

No one can understand
Not even myself
That from day to day
I honestly want to
Just kill myself

I know I am
Put here for a reason
And don't know why
Except to give
Love and Passion
To our fellow man

I know God
wouldn't put more
on you than
You can handle
No matter the trauma

At times
I feel like
I suffered
In some ways
like him

But I know
Deep in my heart
He suffered far more
Than I could ever endure

He puts people
In our life
also for a reason

Sometimes they remain friends
And some are just passing through
And none of us know what tomorrow holds

So hold on today's
And cherish every good
times you have together
For there is never a tomorrow

Just a thought that hit me and couldn't get it out of my mind.  copy written: Myra Harrison 3/25/03
 
I Never Asked For It

You are with me when I sleep
You are near me when I wake
You go away
You always come back

Let me sleep in peace
Let me wake alone
Let me know you will go

My bones are aching
My muscles are tense
My head hurts
My heart knows
I never asked for you

I have to cope
I have to take control
For you will not go

To cope
To rid you of me
To take back my life
I Must Accept

God give me the strength
I promise I will take Your hand
Follow your lead

Fibromyalgia is with me
and also are You
I will take your strength God
For you are stronger

Maureen 2004

 
GRAVE
  • Grueling
  • Relentless
  • Anemic
  • Vulnerable
  • Exhume

My solemn life
grim stance
unsolicited tomb
gravely useless

I remember writing this at a time when I was extremely down.
It is a reminder not to go there again.
Maureen

 

What do I know?

What do I know…

I know I get lonesome at times

I have only me to be with,

You have to really like yourself for those days you're all alone…with yourself!

Fidget and shift, twitch and stitch may be what your day is made up of.

It is a retched life at times with only me to be with,

Don't get me wrong there are blessing everywhere all around me.

I can see that.

Just sometimes I feel like giving a scream out just to acknowledge  how

I truly feel.

I just plain hurt today all over.

I am grateful for all those that care and help me move on.

Slow and steady goes the race except it is more like a crawl.

External things give little meaning,

I am ok with that I guess,

Life is just like that.

Bless all of you that have help me remain.

Bless all of you whom I've never met thank You

Thank you for the love and I love you too.

©Linda Margaret Nagy

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

 

©Sparrow Ivy 2007
 
I AM FREE
Don't grieve for me,
for now I'm free
I am following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that peace at the close of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah, these things I, too, will miss.
Be not burdened with time of sorrow,
I wish for you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savored much.
Good friends, good times,
A loved one touched.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me.
GOD WANTED ME NOW: HE SET ME FREE.

© Myra Harrison 2008
 
 
If you're going to use these poems in any way, please ask permission of the author.
You may contact them by the email link above.